Is there one? A life after trauma. I mean really, let’s take a moment and chat.
You have experienced trauma and at some point, people expect you to move on and act normal. Like nothing ever happened, or at the very least “get over it.”
For the longest time these expectations from others infuriated me and solidified a barrier between us, until I finally realized their desire for me to “be my old self” (or a version of that Trish) stemmed from two reasons;
1) They missed me, or
2) They didn’t know how to act around me.
Not much we can do about another person’s nature; however, there is quite a bit we can do about ours. Motherhood is what triggered my desire to change. If you have experienced trauma, have come through the event, and are looking to create a New Normal then I invite you to continue reading. I’ll share some key decisions that has allowed me to define the next chapter of my life.
1. Power of Daily Habits
Have you heard the saying, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?” That’s the situation I found myself living every single day. I wanted more but did not change my actions. Finally, I decided to take the leap and fail, it took a while for me to become consistent. I chose to fail at a daily gratitude practice and personal development. It took a few months, but I finally found myself writing 10 things down a day I was grateful for and listened to a book or podcast for 30 minutes. I’d spent so much time reliving the past that the future was a foreign concept and I needed to get ideas from other people. Will you choose to fail into your future? Or stay in the past.
2. Non-Negotiable Habits
It’s great to *try* a new habit and see how it goes but then there is room for failure. When we lack commitment to fully see a habit through then we will never see the true fruit of our labor. I encourage you to commit to 1 or 2 habits for 90 days, make them non-negotiable aspects of your life. Need some encouragement? Send me an email and I’d love to root you on in this big next step!
3. More + than –
The world around us is filled with negativity. One trick that has really helped to retrain my brain is to listen to more positivity than the other. For example, if I spend time around a person who vents then I make sure to listen to music or audio book immediately afterward. It’s a way to cleanse myself of their energy.
4. Eliminate Negative People
The next step is to stop talking to people who bring you down, indulge in gossip, and/or have a pessimistic outlook on life. It is really easy to be dragged down into those conversations and, I will admit, can sometimes be a “fun indulgence.” But let me ask you, how do you feel after those? Do you feel energetic, hopeful, excited to face the day? Or do you feel depleted, yucky, anxious? To be honest, those kinds of conversations remind me of my relationship with brownies. One brownie here or there is delightful but too much time with them in my home leads to 2 or 3 (or 4) eaten and I walk away sick to my stomach, regretting my indulgent behavior. What negativity could you eliminate today and renew your soul?
5. Choose 1 thing to believe in
Faith. Friends. Organization. Job. Person. Believe in something/one outside of yourself. My post trauma experience was a constant cycle of reliving the past and never giving myself permission to think about the future. It felt selfish to plan for me, the first step was to believe in something else. What stirs your heart? Who means alot to you?
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